Chapter 30 [can you believe it 3-0???]

[tempered-rose.livejournal.com]

Title: The Eternal Heartache, Chapter 30 of ???
Characters (this part only): Cesc Fabregas, Bojan Krkic, Pep Guardiola/Raul Gonzalez, Lionel Messi, Vicente Rodriguez; Iker Casillas & Kaka implied
Rating: PG-13
Words: this chapter is 2,254; overall total is 75,758
A/N: OMG I finally wrote another chapter of this without it being like two months later! I know right? *ahem* Anyways. Thanks to all you guys who read the last chapter and left a comment, you guys are awesomesauce <3 I can’t believe it’s thirty chapters of this :’) HUGE thanks to all of you who read this from the beginning and continue to do so. Thanks for sticking around and with me throughout this epic. Y’all are angels <3 Without further ado… here’s the chapter :-D Mood music included ;-)



Last part here. All previous parts listed here.

The street below showed no real sign of change from the way it had looked earlier in the morning. The sun still shone onto it, but the shadows had moved positions. Children still laughed down the street, and always was little Kaka playing with the ball under his feet. He bounced, dribbled, passed, and scored with such pristine brilliant talent that no meager lad could ever possess.

Despite the several hours change on the clock, Cesc continued to sit by the desk and watched the street. He had long since lost count of the number of cars that had passed and the number of people that had moved along the street. Traffic had picked up in the past few minutes; he knew that it was getting closer to time when dinner would start downstairs.

He wasn’t going to lie to himself; he didn’t want to go at all. Pep had told him several hours before, when he had granted both him and Bojan permission to skip school that day, that he would not require Cesc or Bojan to come downstairs for dinner but he would like for them to.

Cesc wasn’t delusional; he knew exactly what he had done. He had convinced himself that his life before, back in that small meaningless village, had been a horrible dream and hadn’t been true. As far as he was concerned, that life had never happened and the scars that were left embedded in his skin had always been there.

He didn’t want to believe that once everything was finally, mercifully, moving up and looking better that everything would be ruined in one weekend. He knew his brother, and he knew his mother’s passivity, and he would give it no more than five minutes before everything was ruined.

Everything he could have never imagined for himself he had somehow been granted. He had an elegant home to stay in, a very comfortable bed to rest in, delicious hot food every day, a school that offered a very fine education, pocket money to spend, friends that cared about him and that he cared for in return. He had an amazing boyfriend that he had finally gotten back after almost losing him. And the one thing he cherished above all the others, he finally had a family. He had someone to look up to, someone that loved him unconditionally and that would never hurt him intentionally. He had his brother and his uncle and Raul. They were perfect. They were safe, warm, and held him centered and safe in their embrace.

He didn’t want to lose that, now or ever. He couldn’t handle it if that happened.

Cesc was close to having a panic attack at the thought of it. His nerves were frazzled and he didn’t move from watching the street below. If he would have to leave, he never wanted to forget what it had felt like to have this here and to have felt normal for the first time in his life. Cesc had come to the conclusion that it would be truly the most awful feeling he would ever have. The thought of having a mother that couldn’t care for her children in the way that a mother should or a brother that was abusive and violent would never come close to the horrible ache that he would have, the ache he already had at the suggestive thought of it, knowing that he had had everything he had never imagined for himself to be taken away forever.

He swallowed thickly as tears pressed at his eyes. He didn’t want to give this up, but he would have no choice. If Maria came to take him and Bojan away, they would have no choice but to go. Pep legally had no claim over them; he would have to let them leave.

Cesc was too numb to react, even in surprise, when a warm familiar hand came down gently on his shoulder. From the soft squeeze, he already knew who it was.

“The driver called. They’ll be here soon Cescito.”

Pep’s voice was quiet, reverent, as he spoke. He stayed with his hand on Cesc’s shoulder and he also looked out the window. Cesc listened to his rhythmic breathing and felt his fears fade in intensity. They didn’t disappear completely, but they faded so that they didn’t seem as pressing and hurtful as they had on his own.

“Where’s Bojan?” Cesc’s voice was gravelly after hours of being unused. He heard Pep shift and inhale quietly.

“The last I saw of him, Raul was force feeding him an early tasting of dessert. Chocolate pie.” Cesc heard the smile in Pep’s voice and the small chuckle he let out when Cesc’s stomach growled. “It seems that you are hungry.”

Cesc nodded once and looked down at his abdomen. “I don’t see how I could be. I’m so…”

He didn’t know how to finish the sentence. There were so many possible choices that could have come out and filled the silence.

Pep moved around the chair and sat on Cesc’s bed next to the desk. He held his hands clasped in the space between his knees and watched Cesc with dark, concerned eyes.

“Cesc, I want you to listen to me.” He waited until Cesc looked at him. “I will not tolerate any behavior that I find reprehensible. With that boy, I don’t like him and I never have. Your mother’s lack of care for you and Bojan infuriate me to the brink, but I will give them both a chance to behave like responsible adults. If they do not, then I will have no qualms about having them removed from my house. I won’t let them take you away from this house Cesc.”

The honest look in Pep’s eyes had Cesc’s tears came to the surface. He shifted forward and Pep caught him and pulled him closer. The tears started and Cesc hated every single one of them. He didn’t want to cry, he never cried.

“I don’t want to go.” Cesc mumbled into Pep’s chest. Pep held Cesc close against his chest and had to swallow his own emotions.

“I’ll never let you go Cesc, ever. You will never have to leave this house again unless you want to.” His voice was hard and determined. He meant it. If Maria had any other intentions, she could reevaluate. Her sons belonged to him now and nothing would ever change that.


Seventeen minutes after seven, the doorbell rang. Bojan stopped laughing and froze completely. Raul set down the spoon that he had been making smiley faces with in the whipped cream to entertain Bojan. He gave him a caring look before he wiped his hands on the dishtowel.

“It’ll be okay Bojan. Your uncle and I will be here and they will have to go through the pair of us to even think about getting to either of you.” Raul said concern glowing in his eyes. He shifted over and offered Bojan a hug, which the boy took gratefully. “I love you Bojan.”

Bojan’s lips twitched in a small smile. “Thank you. I love you too.” He meant it.

Raul smiled and ruffled his hair teasingly before slowly pulling back. “I’ll get the door. Don’t sneak any of that pie now. It’s for after dinner.”

Raul gave him a mock scolding look before he turned and started out of the kitchen. Bojan let out a breath before his eyes shifted down onto the floor and his shoulders slumped. His fingers twisted together and he no longer felt any desire for Raul’s pie.

He could hear the front door open and a greeting exchanged before muffled voices flowed through the house. He frowned when he didn’t hear Raul call for Pep and the frown deepened when the voices and footsteps came closer to the kitchen.

“I believe you have a visitor Bojan.” Raul said as he walked back into the kitchen. Bojan tensed and took a very deep breath before he looked up. Surprise mixed with confusion and disbelief.

“L-Leo? What are you—?”

“Your uncle invited me for dinner tonight. I thought you knew?” Leo gave him a confused look.

Bojan felt his heart swell with adoration for his uncle before he shifted off the counter he had been sitting on and moved over to hug his best friend.

“Thank you for coming, but you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” Bojan whispered so Raul couldn’t hear. “Family…thing.”

Leo pulled back from the hug enough to look at Bojan. “’Family thing’? Bojan, I have had my fair share of ‘family thing’s to know that it doesn’t hurt to have a friend with you. Besides, don’t you want to spend time with me?”

Bojan couldn’t help but smile when Leo pouted at him. “I suppose I can force myself to enjoy your company.”

Leo smiled brightly and Raul shook his head at the pair of them. “Okay, out of my kitchen so I can finish dinner.”

He shooed them with the dishtowel and smiled brightly at the stove. With Pep’s good deed in his mind, Raul grinned. “God I love that man.”


Cesc stiffened when the doorbell rang. He no longer was crying but he still wasn’t ready to face the other people he was related to. Pep rubbed his back slowly and looked over at the clock.

“Ah, almost on time. Well done.” Pep said without any hint of the hard determination that had been in his voice. Cesc looked up confused and wiped his cheek. Pep gave him a guilty look that set Cesc’s senses immediately into worry mode.

“I’m afraid I’ve done something rather naughty Cesc. You see, whenever something bothers me and I have to do something I don’t necessarily want to do, I always like to make sure that I have someone close by on whom I can rely on and trust completely. We both know who my go-to person is,” Pep paused and Cesc nodded as an image of Raul crossed his mind. “Well, I thought that if for whatever reason both Raul and myself get otherwise occupied tonight, you and Bojan shouldn’t be left alone with them.” Pep looked towards the door quickly before continuing. “And so, I took the liberty of inviting Señor Rodriguez to keep you company tonight.”

Cesc frowned. “What?”

Pep lifted a hand in gesture to the door and Cesc looked over. Hesitating by the door, stood Vicente. Cesc noted that he looked nervous.

“But…what?” Cesc spluttered and looked between Vicente and Pep. “You told him about them?”

Pep shook his head once and squeezed his shoulder but it was Vicente that spoke.

“He didn’t. He just asked if I wanted to come over for a family dinner with my friend.” Vicente shrugged with his hands in his pockets.

“But,” Cesc turned back on Pep. “Chente doesn’t know, he doesn’t know what he is like!” Fear shone brightly in Cesc’s eyes and Pep looked back levelly at him with a hint of danger in his eye.

“If that boy so much as thinks of raising his hand to anyone in my house, he will be thrown in jail.” Pep’s jaw was set and the dark spark in his eye grew larger.

Cesc chewed his lip in anxiety as his eyes flicked between his uncle and his friend. It was too risky, not to mention the shame of having his secrets laid out in front of Vicente so openly.

“I can go Cesc if you don’t want me here.” Vicente looked back patiently. “I won’t mind at all.”

Pep let out a breath and nodded once towards Vicente. “I think it would be best. I’m sorry to have called you over so late Vicente.” He stood up and looked back at Cesc. “I’m sorry Cesc. Forgive me please?”

When Cesc didn’t react, Pep hid his look of self-regret by looking down at the floor. A moment later, he squared his shoulders and moved over to take Vicente by the shoulder and lead him out of the bedroom.

Cesc sat alone and heard Pep mutter more apologies to Vicente as they crossed the landing and started towards the stairs. Cesc looked at the floor and let out his breath. He heard Bojan laugh from downstairs along with someone who wasn’t Raul. He felt a small amount of envy for his brother in the sense that Bojan had adapted better to this life than he had. If Pep had thought to bring someone for him to hang out with during dinner, he probably had done the same for Bojan and that person was probably laughing with Bo right now.

Cesc took a second to wish that he could just leave right away and go curl up on Iker’s sofa with him and they could just sit and watch a movie. They wouldn’t have to talk, just watch television while Iker ran his fingers slowly down his back. It would be a perfect solution, he thought but then dismissed it. It was a Friday night and Iker always had dinner with his father on Friday nights. Along with his fiancée.

He felt a pang at the thought of her and the strong grasp of loneliness took its hold on him. He shook his head and stood up quickly, muscles groaning in protest at the sudden movement, and he left his bedroom quickly.

He looked down the stairs and called out.

“Wait! Vicente you can stay. I want you to stay.”