Chapter 25

[tempered-rose.livejournal.com]

Title: The Eternal Heartache, Chapter 25 of ???
Characters (this part only): Cesc Fabregas/Iker Casillas, Pep Guardiola/Raul Gonzalez implied, Bojan Krkic, Vicente Rodriguez
Rating: heavy R
Words: this chapter is 2,204 ; overall total is 65,160
A/N: My most lovely muse melj1213 gave me an idea and I don’t think she even really fully recognized what she’d given me… And here is what I created from that one idea! :D Thank you bb *smushes you* And yes, I’m back up to my evil ways…forgive me. =|



Last part here. All previous parts listed here.



From the last chapter: Cesc finds out that Iker is engaged and he leaves him but not before he tells him that he hates him. The chapter ended with Cesc blacking out when he sees two people walk in the front door…

Dark clouds rolled off from the sea and pushed forward to the coast with a great amount of fury that was unsubtly released in great epic booms of thunder and blinding flashes of white light. Drops fell from the sky like speeding diamonds of liquid crystal that collected together into one gray sheet that fell to the earth with break-neck speed and crashed to the earth below. The streets became slick; the vendors on La Rambla retreated back under the facades of nearby buildings. Pedestrians popped open their colorful umbrellas and continued about their way. From above, the rumbling continued while the tears of the heavens pelted along tiled roofs and sidewalks.

A stream of water slanted down and collected speed until it met the edge of the tiles. The angle was bent and the drops ran off the roof until they puddle on the ground. It was hardly past noon but it was dark enough due to the dark skies that it appeared as if it were later in the evening. The small shelter used for housing boating equipment was a small but grateful reprieve from the storm. Outside, the tied up boats bobbed with the increased water level and more unforgiving ocean currents.

Too many supplies and a fixed amount of room led to the cramped quarters of the small barraca. Despite the lack of size, a worn, faded chair had made its way next to a roughly carved table underneath the incredibly small window that looked out onto the ocean. The gray ocean was white capped as it churned outside. The gray skies above allotted small pinpricks of light into the room.

On the table, a thick round candle’s flame flickered. The white wax exterior was smudged with dirt and age and many different sets of fingerprints. The orange-yellow flame danced in the air current, almost oblivious to the fury that raged just beyond the grimy panes of glass. Though the light was not strong, it gave the rumpled figure in the corner something to stare at while memories played over his mind like a video that would not be silenced.

Soft firm hands touched young skin and was granted a shudder for the sensitive touch. Lips trailed after the warm fingers in a sensuously lazy pattern, which caused the boy to fidget and squirm. He begged for more than a touch, for more contact of any kind at all, but was given nothing for his pleas. His fingers twisted in the sheets as he arched into the man’s mouth while he began to suck him down. Iker’s lips were gentle but his tongue was doing absolutely deviant things to him that made him want to cry out in frustration and simultaneously beg for more.

“Please?” He begged with wide-eyes.

Iker smiled against his abdomen before he released his cock and pressed a kiss to the smooth skin of his stomach. “Of course, anything for you my love.”

Cesc turned his head away in tortured disgust. He wanted more than anything to stop the explicit memories from surfacing. Not all of his thoughts about Iker and the time they had had together was explicit though, he reminded absently. There had been the times where they had lay in bed and done nothing more than talk. Cesc groaned audibly when his mind was quick to summon the imprinted details of hours upon hours of bed and sometimes sofa chats about big details and little nothings. Those times had been held in the highest regards in his heart and he longed to say that they no longer were but that would have been a lie. No matter the truth behind the circumstances, Cesc still prized those chats as a small token of what Iker had truly been like. He wanted to believe that that shard of hope was not a fragment of his imagination but a beam of truth in the darkness.

Every time he allowed his mind to wander into a far off memory, he would recall it quickly and have it rooted in the horrible despair that that one day had caused. He would not let himself forget how easily he had been duped into believing that a successful and gorgeous man like Iker could possibly love him as something more than a thing to be used for his own pleasure.

He had blacked out; he could deduce that. How he had gotten up to his bedroom was another matter entirely. His mind was a bit fuzzy on that detail until Raul walked in carrying a wet washcloth. Raul gave him a hesitant smile and watched him for a few moments while he held the cool cloth to his head.

“What made you so upset?” Raul asked quietly while he looked him over for any injuries.

“N-nothing. I don’t really want to talk about it.” Cesc barely managed to catch the sob before it escaped out of his mouth. He turned his head away in shame. Raul ruffled his hair gently as he stood up.

“It hurts now but that will fade with time.”

Cesc looked over at Raul’s face and saw a knowing look in return. “How—?”

Raul smiled sadly before he answered. “I know that look well.”

Pep had come up to his room to ask him what had happened but Cesc had been able to scrape by with minimal answers. His uncle had offered a shoulder or an ear anytime he wished to discuss something and Cesc had thanked him for that. Mercifully, Pep had left him alone after that at Cesc’s request.

For the rest of the month of December, Cesc had been too numb to really feel anything. The mid-term exams went by quickly and he had apparently passed with brilliantly flying colors, something even Silva had been envious of, but he could not ever recall studying or reading anything about the subjects being tested upon. The New Years and Christmas holidays had all but disappeared with practically no cheer coming from him. He had received nice gifts from Pep and Raul but he did not really mind the materialistic things anymore; he never really had much use for some of them anyway.

Bojan had begun to look at him as if he were a ghost and had grown increasingly worried about him. It hadn’t been until the end of January when he had broken the silence and asked him what in the world was wrong with him. Cesc had blinked and it seemed to have cracked the shield of his stupor long enough to realize what month it was, let alone the day.

He blinked and then noticed that Bojan had grown up a little bit since the last time he had consciously been aware of seeing him. His hair was longer and his jaw more pronounced but he still had the same boyish features. His eyes had changed though; his eyes had grown darker and more concerned, but perhaps that was due to the way he was intently staring at him now.

“What is wrong with you?” Bojan fidgeted with the hem of his shirt; at least he was still nervous over some things, he noted. “It’s like you’ve…you’ve become a shell of a person. What happened to you?”

Bojan’s eyes watched his face for any reaction but didn’t get one. Apparently he had become simply that good at hiding his emotions.

“I’m sorry. I will do better from now on.” He mumbled as an apology and didn’t respond to Bojan’s question. No one would ever know about the Iker incident if he could help it. Bojan seemed relieved that he had just said something and had put his arms around him and squeezed tightly.

“I love you Cesc. I love you, don’t ever forget that.” Bojan said in a tearful voice. Cesc put his arms around his brother and hugged him back just as tightly.

“I love you too.”

Cesc wanted to stop thinking about it, about anything involved with it. His heart ached and he did not know how to stop the hurt from twisting inside and pulling at his emotions and his senses. He finally realized how Vicente must have felt when he had turned him down, except perhaps not as bad as he felt now. It was for that reason, and for a newly rediscovered view of how to live life again, he had begun to hang around Chente more until the other boy had begun to chat with him in a more friendly and animated way.

It was a direct result of their newly redeveloped friendship that Cesc now sat in the Rodriguez’s storage room by their dock. Vicente had offered it to him as a place to escape for a while if he needed one and Cesc had found himself taking up the boy’s offer more and more since it had been given. Vicente would leave him on his own for most of the afternoon and would only come search him out when dinner had been made and he would offer him some inside.

Cesc knew it was only a matter of minutes now before the process repeated again.

The rain had yet to slacken off but the chill from the sea’s breeze had begun to seep in. Cesc pulled his jacket tighter around himself, not that he was overly concerned with his own health. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, already knowing that another memory would begin to play as soon as his eyelids shut.

“Do you love me?” He whispered quietly against Iker’s chest. Iker’s arms were around him and he felt as if he were in the safest place in the world.

Iker did not answer immediately; instead, he sighed. “I care for you greatly Cesc. I would like to think that I do. You are very very special to me.”

He nodded and pressed himself against Iker’s body and soaked up the warmth.

At the time, the phrase ‘I care for you greatly’ was enough. Cesc shook his head while he felt anger rise in his bloodstream. He repeated over and over inside of his mind and, unknowingly, out loud. By the time the door to the barraca had opened, he had probably said the phrase over a hundred times. Cold air and rain slid inside the room as did the soaked body that had opened the door.

“What should you have known?” Vicente asked as he moved past the now-extinguished candle and over to Cesc. His brown eyes were watching him with great concern as he knelt beside him on the floor. “What should you have known Cescito?”

Cesc tried without success for a few minutes to pull himself out of that bedroom and out of Iker’s arms. After a while he began to see not a well-chiseled jaw and an extremely handsome face of a man but a pair of concerned eyes set into a boy’s gorgeous face. He shook his head at Vicente but that did not stop the other boy from pulling him up into a hug.

He would have complained about the fact that Vicente was soaking wet and therefore getting him doused in water in the process, but he didn’t. The simple idea of the demonstration of affection was enough for Cesc to put his arms around Chente and hug him tightly.

After a few moments of holding onto each other, Vicente pulled back to carefully look into Cesc’s subdued eyes. Cesc knew he looked different; he was more withdrawn and despondent than he used to be. Vicente stood up and offered his hand. After a moment, Cesc tugged and pulled himself up.

“Cesc, I don’t know everything about what happened to you before I met you, I don’t really care about that. All I care about is what happened this time that made you so sad. If there’s anybody whose ass needs kicking, let me know, okay? If it’s anybody at school—”

“He wasn’t at school.” Cesc interrupted softly. “But I appreciate the thought, Chente, I really do. I’ve gotten plenty of offers of revenge on, him, so you don’t have to worry about anything. Silva offered the other day to create a substance that would turn his hair gray before it all fell out if that tells you anything.”

Chente’s lips twitched upwards into a smile. “That sounds like Silva.”

Cesc nodded and almost smiled before he realized that his face felt funny at the gesture so he didn’t try further. Vicente seemed to realize that Cesc was about to disappear into his mind again and quickly interrupted the thought process. “So, we have to get something to eat so we can plan properly.”

“Plan?” Cesc blinked while Vicente started pushing him towards the door.

“Yeah, it’s almost April! Pablo’s birthday is coming soon and you know what that means!” Chente’s natural enthusiasm was returning despite even Mother Nature’s persistent intent to dismiss it.

“No…?”

Vicente scoffed and gave Cesc one last playful shove out of the door into the rain. He stretched his arms out wide while the rain began to assault him. Lightning flashed behind his head while he yelled into the storm’s roar.

“Party time!”