2 more left to go! :(

[tempered-rose.livejournal.com]

Title: The Eternal Heartache, Chapter 37 of 39 (Ending is coming soon! D:)
Characters (this part only): Cesc Fabregas, Bojan Krkic, Pep Guardiola/Raul Gonzalez
Rating: PG-13 this part
Words: this part: 1,864; overall total: 91,081
A/N: It is my goal to have the last chapters of this posted by the beginning of August. I want to start the month with this finished and not let it drag on for a while longer, no matter my emotional attachment to this fic. Because of that, there will be the last few chapters posted in the next few days. Again, huge thanks to everyone who has stuck by and read this through. I really appreciate it. You’ve all been wonderful, especially those who left comments to keep me going and who kept coming back even after so long between updates. I really appreciate that you guys and I hope that you aren’t too disappointed in the way this story ends. There will be one more official chapter after this one, the thirty-eighth, and then one last one which will be an epilogue for a total of thirty-nine parts. Thank you once again for indulging me by reading it <3



Last part here. All previous parts listed here.


The air was warm, as it had been for several months, and it was enough to shake the chill that Cesc had felt since the courtroom scene earlier that day. He was pleased to know that Cristiano was in prison as long as he had been sentenced, but he did feel bad for their mother. She hadn’t touched them, but she had stood by and let it happen. Still, Cesc could feel himself pitying her instead of the hate he had once thought he felt. He knew that she didn’t really care so much about him or Bojan, but she was still their mother.

The paved stones were very hard, very firm underneath his feet as he walked and he imagined himself drawing strength from their solidarity. People were all around him, surrounding him as they made their way to the great Plaça Reial. Bojan had left earlier, driven there personally by Pep and Raul instead of the usual chauffeured ride. Cesc had promised he would be there in time, but he just wanted to wait a while because he needed a few minutes to himself still. Pep had squeezed his shoulder and told him that they would see him at the performance. Cesc was grateful that he hadn’t been forced to go with them all together in one car.

He inhaled some of the evening’s air and let his eyes drift almost shut. The sun was setting but it was still strong enough to cast a warming trail of golden color across his skin. There was a breeze coming in from the sea and the air had a hint of salt that mixed nicely with the smell of a bakery’s freshly made pastries. Cesc wondered if the way to the Plaça Reial had always felt this nice and relaxing.

As he came closer to where the band competition would be, he could hear the sound of a band already performing and the way the crowd was enjoying their music by cheering them on, or some were even singing along the lyrics of the songs. Cesc had never gone to a concert before so he wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette of such an occasion would be. At that thought, a small dose of anxiety hit him. He shifted awkwardly and told himself not to be ridiculous. It was a concert, not a job interview. There was nothing to be nervous or anxious about. This is what normal people did for fun, wasn’t it?

That caused him to stop at the entrance to the Plaça. As he moved to the side, out of the way of others coming into the little square, he watched the crowds rise and sway to the current band on stage’s energy as they performed. He felt more people brush by him into the square but he didn’t mind being jostled. He didn’t mind it so much that he even had a cheeky little grin on his face.

Normal. Normal people. He was one, at long last.

Cesc laughed a little to himself. There was absolutely nothing in the world that he couldn’t do anymore. He had friends that he adored and he finally had a family that supported and loved him. He would have the chance to attend any University in the world he wanted; he need only say where and he was pretty sure Pep could call the Dean and have him immediately entered. He shook his head, smiling. Perhaps it wouldn’t be that simple, but close enough. He would be able to get a job, a career, and a life. He could go anywhere, see anything he wanted, love anyone he wanted to love.

He paused and the grin that had rested on his face flickered back to a smile. Love. Such a wonderful, horrible little word. Cesc shook his head. No, no he wouldn’t think about that right now.

Cesc pushed off the wall to another building surrounding the square and moved through the crowd. Bojan had given him instructions of where he would be able to meet him and the other members of the band, instructions on the word of Sergio so Cesc wasn’t entirely believing in their accuracy. Still, he followed them as he had understood them and found Bojan talking to Raul, excitement clearly evident on his face, while Pep chatted with Sergio about the Beatles (while Sergio insisted that the Stones were better).

With his hands tucked into his jeans, Cesc watched as they all interacted. Nando was helping Alexis with his hair. Alexis rolled his eyes and muttered all the while, to Cesc’s delighted amusement. Fernando didn’t mind, though, and kept fussing with him.

It was Bojan that noticed Cesc’s arrival first.

Bojan tilted his head a little at one of Raul’s jokes when his eyes shifted to look past Raul and then he saw him. Cesc’s eyes caught that of his brother’s and they just looked at one another for a few moments. Cesc smiled a little to himself as he studied his brother. Bojan was fuller now, no longer horribly skinny, and he had a permanent smile on his face. Cesc was sure that if he looked there would be a sparkle dancing in those green eyes. A bubble of warmth filled him in the abdomen and he moved closer without saying a word and nodded once at Raul before he wrapped his arms around his brother and pulled the younger boy into his hug.

Bojan didn’t react by being surprised. He instantly hugged him back and rested his head against Cesc’s shoulder as he always did when it was an affectionate hug like this. Cesc smiled a little as he squeezed his brother. He whispered a question gently into Bojan’s ear so that he would be the only one able to hear him.

It was a simple question, but one that Cesc worried over the answer. If Bojan disagreed, then he would have to find a way to make things even better for him. If Bojan agreed, though, then he could relax a little and it would be okay.

“We did alright, didn’t we?”

Bojan nodded against Cesc’s neck and pulled back to look in his brother’s eyes. “Yeah, we did.”

Cesc nodded once and let out the breath he had been holding.

“Now lighten up. We’re up next and you better enjoy it and tell me I did a good job.” Bojan teased and stepped back, grin on his face.

Cesc nodded, smiling a little. “I will.”

Bojan smiled brightly and turned to move towards the direction of the stage. Cesc put his hands back in his pockets and looked sheepishly at Raul.

“Sorry, I just wanted to hug him before he went up.”

Raul shook his head with an affectionate smile on his face. “Don’t be silly, Cesc. I don’t mind at all.”

Raul moved closer and slipped his arm over Cesc’s shoulders and lead him towards Pep’s direction. He looked down at Cesc and smiled a little, something light flickered in his eyes and Cesc smiled in reply. He felt Raul’s hand squeeze his shoulder and the warmth coming from him. It was a very welcome feeling.

Pep was shaking his head when they came closer. “That boy doesn’t know anything. Honestly.”

Raul frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Pep pointed to the stage where Sergio was coming up to take the microphone. “That kid thinks he knows more about music than I do. He says the Stones, the Rolling Stones of all bands, were better than the Beatles. Than the Beatles Raul! Can you imagine?”

Raul started to laugh, causing a slight scowl from Pep, and Cesc watched a moment before he smiled in his own amusement.

“Don’t laugh, it’s not funny.” Pep scoffed.

“Yes it is, amor.” Raul chuckled and squeezed his arm. “Come on, enjoy the show and don’t let that ruin it for you.”

Cesc and the two men moved to where they could see the stage as best they could while still being within access towards the small tent that they had just left. The performance began and the crowd cheered a little for the band.

The family of the keyboard artist watched in amazement as their boy played beautifully, but not so much so that he was taking the spotlight away from the vocals and guitar playing. Cesc was particularly amazed at how well the boy had shifted from an almost perfect Mozart piece to the much less-classical beat of this new ballad.

But no matter how impressed he was by his brother’s talent, Cesc realized that the words were doing their effect on him more than the entrancement of the keyboarding. The words were seeping into him, wrapping around his mind and his heart, calling to him. And the gentle way Sergio crooned some parts and the way his voice rose in others was as enchanting as the actual words he was saying.

“I am shaking, not a breath left to breathe, all this sadness, so cold that I can’t speak.” Cesc swallowed and watched as Sergio sang the words, gently.

“Look me in the eyes, you know it’s okay that we didn’t make it forever, oh. Come hold my hand, hold onto this last minute we have together, I’m not ready to say goodbye. You and God both know all the years that I’ve tried, and if it’s over, give me the strength to go. Cause I know I’m never going to be, I’ll never be ready to say goodbye, to you.”

Cesc swallowed as the chorus ended and Alexis came up to sing his part of the song. He listened to the rest of the words of the song but his eyes no longer focused on the stage. He couldn’t help but think of Iker. He swallowed stiffly as Sergio came back up to the microphone to share it with Alexis. He went back to his gentle tone and sang the bridge.

“And even if we tried, we would end up right back to this place, together.”

Alexis shifted closer. “This was not a lie. And what we had will be a real love forever.”

The music rose again and another chorus took over and Cesc shook his head a little. He wasn’t one to let music talk to him but this one, this one he couldn’t get over. Even if he hadn’t been with Iker that long, he still had some sort of connection to him. He realized it wasn’t love, but lust.

He had finally learned his lesson by the time the song ended.

The crowd’s applause drowned out the thoughts and Cesc joined them enthusiastically as he took a deep breath of air. He smiled brightly at Bojan when the boy looked over to see his family. Pep and Raul both nodded encouragement as the band bowed and thanked the crowd for coming out. Cesc swallowed stiffly with all the pride he felt for Bojan as he applauded. He felt a smile on his face and tears pressing in his eyes but he didn’t shed them.

He wasn’t one to cry in public, and that wasn’t something he was going to start now.