The Journal Of A Footballer, Michael Owen.

[tempered-rose.livejournal.com]

Title: The Journal Of A Footballer, Michael Owen
Characters: Michael Owen/OFC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Mikey has a journal…
Words: 2,738
A/N: I wanted to try out this idea and I also wanted to write a het piece so….heee. I hope it’s liked by somebody :-D Comments > air/food/water/internet


15th April, 1999

Mum gave me this journal to keep me occupied. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it. There’s a lot of pages in this thing, how am I supposed to fill them up? Who cares what I think anyway?

I think she gave it to me just to shut me up. I think a better gift would’ve been a book or something I could actually use, but no, I get an empty book that *I* have to fill up.

If it weren’t for this stupid injury I could be training right now. I miss football. :(

16th April, 1999

I still miss football. I don’t think that was relevant for an entry in this thing, but who cares. It’s mine now, right?

So yeah…that’s today’s entry. I miss football.

18th April, 1999

Liverpool played yesterday. I watched with dad on the telly. They lost. I wanted them to win, but I also wanted to play too. They play again on the 21st. I won’t be there again.

I guess I’m going to have to get used to being left behind.

21st April, 1999

The doctor’s say I’m out for the rest of the season. Could this year get any worse?!?!!!

16th May, 1999

The season’s over. The new season won’t start until August. Ugh, that’s three months! I don’t want to have to sit and do nothing for three months! Dad says we’re going to go on holiday soon and that should distract me. I doubt it. I don’t want to go to America. I want to stay here and have football again.

June 5th, 1999

I love America.

June 5th, 1999 Part 2

As I was saying earlier, before Terry tried to get my journal away from me, I love America. The girls here, my God! They’re all tan and beautiful. Speaking of tanned, fuck it’s hot. Honestly, how do they do this all the time? Anyways…I said Terry tried to get this journal away from me, but I showed him. I’m too quick for him! >:-D

I’m still not sure why I brought this journal with me in the first place. It’s not like I’ve used it in a while anyway.

11th June, 1999

There’s this really pretty girl staying at the hotel too. She’s from Manchester [it’s not her fault though], but she loves Liverpool. I couldn’t imagine how hard that is to deal with. But anyways, she’s really pretty. She knew who I was, the only one on this holiday so far, but she was really nice about it.

We’re going to hang out later. I almost don’t want to go home now.

13th June, 1999

Her name is Nicole and she’s a few years younger than me. She’s really sweet though. We made plans to see each other again back home. She’s not like anybody else, any girl anyway, that I’ve ever met. She likes football a lot, and really knows it too. She has a great smile and is easy to talk to.

If it works out, I’m supposed to see her again at the end of June—that’s when her family comes back from their holiday.

Have to go now, the plane is taking off.

21st July, 1999

Wow…it’s been a month. Let’s see what’s happened since the last time I wrote in this thing. I’ve gotten back to football, light training for the pre-season. I missed football so much, it’s so great to have it back. Mum and Dad keep coming round to my house to check on me. I think they forget I’m twenty now and don’t need constant checking on. Oh well, I love them anyway.

I have a new football video game that I’m going to try out soon. These are quite fun. :D

And I suppose I should mention that Nicole and I hung out once. Then she had to go because her dad was calling her back. He’s a United fan. I feel bad for her. I kind of miss her, she was really nice.

Anyway…new video game is calling. Cheers.

19th September, 1999

I scored two goals yesterday against Leicester City. They were both penalties. I wish I could have scored two last week. We fucking lost to United by one. Carra scored two of those against us. He’s not happy with himself, understandably. We tried to comfort him but…well…we aren’t really happy with him either. I played as a sub so I got a little time in on it. Too bad I didn’t really make a difference. :\

Today I couldn’t help but wonder whatever happened to her, to Nicole I mean. I reread this journal and I can remember how fun it was to be around her even though we didn’t have long to be together. Maybe I’ll call her, she gave me her number a long time ago. Hopefully it still works.

14th October, 1999

Finally got round to making that call. I wish I hadn’t. She didn’t want to talk to a Scouser and has somehow become a United fan now. I don’t know what happened or what I did wrong. And a United fan? After everything she told me about Liverpool? What? I feel betrayed. Maybe she had been lying the whole time? It was convincing if she had been.

Oh well. More injuries for me. Yay.

14th August, 2004

Found this thing at the bottom of my closet when I was packing. Mum was with me and told me I should take it along with me because I still had so many pages to fill up. I don’t see the point but who knows? Maybe in Spain I’ll find a beauty to write poems to.

Yeah, that was a joke but who knows what Spain holds for me?

It’ll be sad to leave Liverpool I think. I’m going so far away from my family, I don’t like that. There’s nothing I can do about it now though. The transfer’s been made and I now play in white. I’ll play alongside Beckham for Madrid.

This will be entertaining I think. :-)

25th September, 2004

Remember how I said this would be entertaining? Well, it would be if you consider being on the bench more than you’re on the pitch entertaining. Internationals come soon, but even so…I’m not enjoying football anymore. That says a lot for me and I’m worried.

I didn’t sign up for this. I signed to play.

24th October, 2004

Two winners in four days. I scored them both. I think my form is back! I just wish I could celebrate with my family. Dad called and congratulated me. I miss our post-match talks.

Becks has been nice to me though. I think I’ve made friends with him at any rate.

25th December, 2004

I want to go home.

I’ve never really felt this lonely in my life. It makes me want to know what the fuck I was thinking to leave and go so far away. I miss my family, my friends, a common language that isn’t Spanish. What had I been thinking?

I’m so lonely I’ve read through this thing again and am writing in it once more.

I’m twenty-five, too young to feel this washed up.

24th August, 2005

I’m home, sort of. Newcastle is a long way from Chester but not as far as Spain. That’s a positive, yes?

What am I doing? I’m trying to convince a book of empty pages that I’m happy. I’m not. I can’t lie to myself anymore. I want to be closer to home, I want to have someone waiting for me when I get home. I’m still lonely.

I’m pathetic.

16th March, 2006

My foot hurts. It’s been that way since December. Next week I have to have a second surgery to try and fix it again. Injuries love me it seems.

Why couldn’t they plague somebody else? Why must it always be me?

21st June, 2006

Pain. Agonizing pain.

22nd June, 2006

At least I can write without my hand shaking. It still hurts. Doctor’s say that this one is the one.

What a fucking lucky bastard am I?

18th July, 2006

America again. This time it is not a pleasure holiday. The surgery supposedly went well. All I know is everything still hurts. Maybe I should have picked a different career instead of this one? I am willing to bet it wouldn’t hurt so bad.

Edited later. I love football too much to ever want to do anything else. That was the medications talking.

12th February, 2007

Light training they say. I say it was brilliant.

I’ve missed football.

10th June, 2007

They are saying I’m going to leave Newcastle. The release clause had been made public. So what’s it matter? None of the ‘big’ clubs want me and I have nowhere else to go. Besides, Newcastle aren’t so bad after all. I kind of like it here now. I wish it were closer to home, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

12th July, 2007

Told them I’m staying. Everyone seems to be pretty happy about this news.

Honestly, where else would I go?

29th September, 2007

A hernia. I’ve worried myself into having a hernia. I guess some people are allowed to have a cow, well I can have a hernia.

I’m not making a lot of sense. Blame the meds.

November 28th , 2007

Another injury. Thigh strain. Maybe I should just quit? Honestly, I get injured every other day it seems.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

May 29th, 2008

Who the hell gets mumps anymore? Michael Owen that’s who.

I give up. One day I’ll be back to greatness. I just hope that day comes soon.

22nd June, 2009

No more Newcastle. I’m going to go home, hopefully. I just hope I don’t have to retire.

Somebody sign me, please? I don’t want to give up football this soon. Having said that, that brochure was embarrassing. Desperate much? At this point, yes I am. I’m hanging on by a thread. I’m not ready to retire. I’d go mad.

3rd July, 2009

They are going to hate me for this one. Part of myself hates me for this one. I don’t want to look myself in the mirror now.

I did it. I signed for United.

I just want to play football. Can’t anyone see that?

Apparently no one in Liverpool can.

17th August, 2009

I didn’t remember her at first, but after a minute of her talking to me I did. She gave me a once over, like how she used to do. Told me I scored a nice goal yesterday before she left.

I didn’t get a chance to really talk to her, but I wish I had. She was wearing a Liverpool scarf. I thought she was a United fan? I don’t know.

I just wish I’d opened my mouth to say something, anything, instead of standing there like a wanker.

Next time I will say something.

9th December, 2009

Hat trick last night. First time in a long time. Proof that I still have it.

The lads kept me out last night in celebration. I have a touch of hangover. I could do without that.

By the way…when did most of these pages begin to have writing on them?

29th February, 2010

Another injury, is anyone surprised? No? Me either. Hopefully it won’t take long to heal.

Going out tonight, will be careful.

1st March, 2010

I saw her again; this time I did manage to speak to her. She had that look in her eyes, the one that all the Liverpool fans have these days. I tried to be as nice as possible, but it seemed that she wasn’t interested.

I did ask her when she’d gone back to being a Liverpool fan. She gave me a confused look before becoming irritated. She probably thinks I’m a twat now, well, I know she does.

Oh well. I’m kind of used to living life as a bachelor. What would I want with a girlfriend anyway—not that I was thinking of her that way. Cause I wasn’t. I promise.

5th March, 2010

The season’s over, for me at any rate. Stupid injuries.

20th May, 2010

We had a chat the other day. It was strange. She walked in to the little café I was at and she decided to join me. I didn’t mind really. I asked her what had happened in her life since that summer. She didn’t answer my questions at first—she just wanted to know why I had become a Judas.

That name still stings.

I told her the truth, I didn’t want to retire that early and they were the only one’s interested. She didn’t like that answer, I could tell, but she seemed to accept it. Then she started to answer my questions.

Apparently her father lied about the United fan thing. Good. I didn’t like the thought of her cheering them. That makes me a hypocrite, but…well…I have to be in my current situation.

We had a nice time I thought. I asked her for dinner to keep the conversation going. She agreed. That could be a good thing, right?

7th June, 2010

That was our third date. Tonight she finally said that this little arrangement of ours could be called dating. I guess that means I now have a girlfriend.

I don’t mind.

9th June, 2010

She spent the night last night. It was nice to wake up to someone.

Looking through this thing, I may need to figure out a way to stick some more pages at the end of it. I’m running out. I’ll worry about that tomorrow.

She wants to…well. What we did last night. She wants to do that again. >:D

25th July, 2010

It’s roughly been a month. Is that too soon to know if you feel ‘that’ way about someone? I think I do feel that way towards her. Just don’t tell her I said that.

1st August, 2010

I think I love her.

I just wish I wasn’t in Ireland so I could tell her in person.

4th August, 2010

I scored one tonight. I wish I could’ve dedicated it to her, but something tells me she wouldn’t like a United goal’s dedication. Either way…it was for her. I do love her. I just hope I’m not alone in this.

15th September, 2010

I told her. Perhaps I shouldn’t have, not then, but I did tell her. She was angry and frustrated and it just slipped out. She just gave me a look before she left. I don’t know where she went.

I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut.

17th September, 2010

She came back and apologized for leaving. She told me that she was afraid I would be like the others that had told her they loved her. After what she told me, I want to go find every single one of those other blokes and give them a what for. I promised her I was different than them.

I think I am. I would never leave someone like her behind, not even for football. I told her that and she just gave me a tearful smile. I gave her a kiss and she held onto me all night.

She’s even more beautiful when she’s asleep.

20th November, 2010

I took her to meet my Mum. That was awkward. Mum loved teasing me about how I finally had a girlfriend. Dad just clapped me hard on the back. Nicole liked them though, that’s a good thing.

It’s nice not to have to travel so far to go home. This is the good life, I think.

14th December, 2010

This is the last page. I’m not sure what I should write on it. I’ve come a long way since this thing was started. Some things I wish I could change, but others, I don’t think I would want to.

Happy thirty-first birthday self.

Tomorrow, I’m going to go buy a new journal and start over. Perhaps these things aren’t so bad after all.

Michael— Don’t buy a new one. I’ve seen you writing in here for months now so I got you one for your birthday present. It’s under your pillow. I was going to give it to you after our little adventure tonight. ;-) I love you sweetheart. –Nicole