Oy, don't look at me!
Apr. 29th, 2010 12:42 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
tempered-rose.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
tr_ficTitle: Gone Too Soon
Pairing: Gary Neville/OFC ; Ryan Giggs, David & Victoria Beckham, Sir Alex Ferguson, Phil Neville
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1,494
Warnings: Epic sadness and miserable!Gary
A/N: This fic is based off of this really sad but awesome song by Kenny Chesney. And![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
butbyskylight told me to write Gary so…Gary it is.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
Gary never thought he could really hate a color, but black was definitely starting to get on his bad side. Inside the church there was hardly a different color besides black or a dark gray. It was as if all the colors had taken an indefinite leave of absence, just like the sun had.
Since that day, that horrible day that he wished beyond anything had never happened, it had not stopped raining. Some might say that that was just English weather, but he knew it wasn’t the same kind of rain. The ironic thing was: she had loved the rain.
He was tired of sad looks on sad faces in sad places. He was tired of sad. All he wanted was to go home and crawl into bed with her right next to him and she would make everything okay. He never realized just how much he really needed her until she was gone.
It still felt like this was some kind of horrible dream and he was going to wake up any second. It was all so surreal and his mind kept telling him that no, it wasn’t real. This is just a bad joke and he was going to be pranked and that was going to be the end of it. He just knew that Ryan was going to start grinning and say that this was all just a sick joke. He would be mad for a while but it would be fine, she would come back to him and apologize for going with it and then they’d make up and everything would be set right again. It was going to happen, wasn’t it?
Throughout the service he kept looking over at Ryan, waiting for that moment when Ryan jumped up and yelled ‘Got you!’. But that moment never came during the sermon.
Instead, the service came to an end and the pallbearers took her away—for good. He watched with a heavy heart and a sticking throat while the smooth black surface went right past him. That moment was going to come soon, Ryan was going to say it any time now. All he had to do was be patient; that moment was going to come any second now.
He walked next to Ryan, still waiting for him to say something, towards the limousine that would take them to the graveside for the burial. Gary tore himself away from that line of thought quickly. She was not gone; she was still here because she couldn’t be gone.
Ryan let him get inside first and Phil followed the Welshman. Gary sat staring straight ahead, the whole time he waited for Ryan to speak up. He looked over expectantly at Ryan and only frowned when he saw the older man staring at his hands with a look of remorse. His mood did not improve when he noticed that Phil had a mirrored expression.
“Okay, the joke is over.” Gary spoke hoarsely. He hadn’t spoken properly in ages.
Ryan and Phil both looked up confused though it was Ryan that spoke. “What joke?”
“This joke.” Gary waved his hand. “It isn’t funny guys and you can stop it now. You got me, well done. Enough is enough.”
Ryan swallowed hard while Phil looked away. “Gaz…it’s not a—”
“Yes it is Ryan.” Gary nodded. “It was well thought out and planned, I commend you for that. But let’s move past it now, eh?”
Ryan shook his head and looked pitifully at Gary, something that Gary hated instantly. “Gary, mate, I wish more than anything that this was a joke. I really do…” Gary started shaking his head but Ryan pressed forward. “If I hadn’t seen the car after the accident myself…”
Gary shook his head violently. “No! You faked that! She wasn’t in it when it, when… She wasn’t…”
Ryan looked at Gary with that pitying expression once more and Gary felt his world beginning to crack open. “Please Ryan. It’s a joke, it’s a gag…isn’t it?”
Ryan swallowed hard and shook his head once. Gary turned away from his best friend and looked out the window while the raindrops continued to dampen the Earth torrentially.
No, this wasn’t happening. Ryan was still lying. She was too young; it wasn’t her time yet. She couldn’t have left him here alone. It was entirely too early for her to have died. He closed his eyes at the word and put his head on the cold glass.
This couldn’t be happening. They had had plans together—he was going to retire from football next year and they were going to travel. Proper like, stopping here and there long enough to actually see things. Then they would come back to Manchester and they would get married and then everything was going to be as it should have always been.
It wasn’t supposed to end like this—it was not supposed to end at all. He did not want to be here without here—she balanced him out perfectly. Before his temper and outspokenness had be legendary. Now, he was still temperamental but he was less of a smartass all the time. He could be too serious sometimes but she lightened him up and made him laugh. If she smiled he wanted to know why and would end up smiling along with her, toothy grin and all.
There was no way that all of that was just going to end. There was no way God could be that cruel.
Several long minutes later, he stood under an umbrella by himself while the mourners gathered around the coffin. To his left David stood with Victoria, both looking sadly at him and then at the black surface in front of them. To his right, Ryan and Stacey stood with Phil behind them.
The eulogy was said about how kind a person she was and how she cared about everyone. They spoke of her sense of humor and how she could make anyone laugh. It was said that her inner beauty matched those of the outside and how she was going to be terribly missed.
Gary didn’t blink till the crowd started to thin out around the graveside. Phil stood patiently and quietly off to the side as Ryan squeezed his shoulder and murmured his condolences and a goodbye. Stacey informed him a moment later that he was welcome any time at all and that they would look forward to seeing him stop by.
He waved Phil off when he saw his blonde head coming closer. Phil nodded and went back to wait in the car. Gary stepped forward and reached out to press his hand against the lid. His hand felt the cold wetness of the rain but he did not care.
“You’re really gone, aren’t you?” He whispered to the air. His throat thickened and he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly.
When he thought he was about to pass out a voice he knew extraordinarily well spoke from behind him and he started.
“Neville.”
He turned slowly, years of fear bred into him, and looked up at his Gaffer. “Yes sir?”
Sir Alex moved forward respectfully slowly. “This attitude is not healthy for you. You have to accept what happened, God knows you don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it. It takes a strong man to be able to do that Gary. I know you can do it because you are a strong man, a very strong man.”
Gary lowered his eyes as he felt unworthy of such a compliment. “It’s hard.”
“Yes it is and it’s going to be very hard. Takes a great man to be able to love someone as much as you did and it takes a greater man to be able to move on from that.”
“I don’t want to forget her!” Gary looked up quickly.
Sir Alex shook his head. “Not forget, move on. Accept what happened as fact and move forward. You never have to forget her, you just have to learn to live without her.”
Gary nodded numbly.
“Come along son. The wife has a great inclination to force feed you dinner if necessary.”
Gary looked sadly back at the coffin while he felt himself taking a step forward. He didn’t want to leave her and he told himself that he would be back tomorrow with flowers. He vowed to no one that he would bring flowers every day because she liked them and he wanted her happy.
“It will get easier with time.” Sir Alex said quietly, catching Gary’s look back.
Gary didn’t believe him and didn’t hide his expression of disbelief from the Gaffer. As he got back inside the car, he kept his eyes trained to the hill where on the other side of it she was going to rest forever.
As the car pulled away, he looked back at the crest of the hill and whispered inaudibly.
“I love you.”
Pairing: Gary Neville/OFC ; Ryan Giggs, David & Victoria Beckham, Sir Alex Ferguson, Phil Neville
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1,494
Warnings: Epic sadness and miserable!Gary
A/N: This fic is based off of this really sad but awesome song by Kenny Chesney. And
butbyskylight told me to write Gary so…Gary it is.I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
Gary never thought he could really hate a color, but black was definitely starting to get on his bad side. Inside the church there was hardly a different color besides black or a dark gray. It was as if all the colors had taken an indefinite leave of absence, just like the sun had.
Since that day, that horrible day that he wished beyond anything had never happened, it had not stopped raining. Some might say that that was just English weather, but he knew it wasn’t the same kind of rain. The ironic thing was: she had loved the rain.
He was tired of sad looks on sad faces in sad places. He was tired of sad. All he wanted was to go home and crawl into bed with her right next to him and she would make everything okay. He never realized just how much he really needed her until she was gone.
It still felt like this was some kind of horrible dream and he was going to wake up any second. It was all so surreal and his mind kept telling him that no, it wasn’t real. This is just a bad joke and he was going to be pranked and that was going to be the end of it. He just knew that Ryan was going to start grinning and say that this was all just a sick joke. He would be mad for a while but it would be fine, she would come back to him and apologize for going with it and then they’d make up and everything would be set right again. It was going to happen, wasn’t it?
Throughout the service he kept looking over at Ryan, waiting for that moment when Ryan jumped up and yelled ‘Got you!’. But that moment never came during the sermon.
Instead, the service came to an end and the pallbearers took her away—for good. He watched with a heavy heart and a sticking throat while the smooth black surface went right past him. That moment was going to come soon, Ryan was going to say it any time now. All he had to do was be patient; that moment was going to come any second now.
He walked next to Ryan, still waiting for him to say something, towards the limousine that would take them to the graveside for the burial. Gary tore himself away from that line of thought quickly. She was not gone; she was still here because she couldn’t be gone.
Ryan let him get inside first and Phil followed the Welshman. Gary sat staring straight ahead, the whole time he waited for Ryan to speak up. He looked over expectantly at Ryan and only frowned when he saw the older man staring at his hands with a look of remorse. His mood did not improve when he noticed that Phil had a mirrored expression.
“Okay, the joke is over.” Gary spoke hoarsely. He hadn’t spoken properly in ages.
Ryan and Phil both looked up confused though it was Ryan that spoke. “What joke?”
“This joke.” Gary waved his hand. “It isn’t funny guys and you can stop it now. You got me, well done. Enough is enough.”
Ryan swallowed hard while Phil looked away. “Gaz…it’s not a—”
“Yes it is Ryan.” Gary nodded. “It was well thought out and planned, I commend you for that. But let’s move past it now, eh?”
Ryan shook his head and looked pitifully at Gary, something that Gary hated instantly. “Gary, mate, I wish more than anything that this was a joke. I really do…” Gary started shaking his head but Ryan pressed forward. “If I hadn’t seen the car after the accident myself…”
Gary shook his head violently. “No! You faked that! She wasn’t in it when it, when… She wasn’t…”
Ryan looked at Gary with that pitying expression once more and Gary felt his world beginning to crack open. “Please Ryan. It’s a joke, it’s a gag…isn’t it?”
Ryan swallowed hard and shook his head once. Gary turned away from his best friend and looked out the window while the raindrops continued to dampen the Earth torrentially.
No, this wasn’t happening. Ryan was still lying. She was too young; it wasn’t her time yet. She couldn’t have left him here alone. It was entirely too early for her to have died. He closed his eyes at the word and put his head on the cold glass.
This couldn’t be happening. They had had plans together—he was going to retire from football next year and they were going to travel. Proper like, stopping here and there long enough to actually see things. Then they would come back to Manchester and they would get married and then everything was going to be as it should have always been.
It wasn’t supposed to end like this—it was not supposed to end at all. He did not want to be here without here—she balanced him out perfectly. Before his temper and outspokenness had be legendary. Now, he was still temperamental but he was less of a smartass all the time. He could be too serious sometimes but she lightened him up and made him laugh. If she smiled he wanted to know why and would end up smiling along with her, toothy grin and all.
There was no way that all of that was just going to end. There was no way God could be that cruel.
Several long minutes later, he stood under an umbrella by himself while the mourners gathered around the coffin. To his left David stood with Victoria, both looking sadly at him and then at the black surface in front of them. To his right, Ryan and Stacey stood with Phil behind them.
The eulogy was said about how kind a person she was and how she cared about everyone. They spoke of her sense of humor and how she could make anyone laugh. It was said that her inner beauty matched those of the outside and how she was going to be terribly missed.
Gary didn’t blink till the crowd started to thin out around the graveside. Phil stood patiently and quietly off to the side as Ryan squeezed his shoulder and murmured his condolences and a goodbye. Stacey informed him a moment later that he was welcome any time at all and that they would look forward to seeing him stop by.
He waved Phil off when he saw his blonde head coming closer. Phil nodded and went back to wait in the car. Gary stepped forward and reached out to press his hand against the lid. His hand felt the cold wetness of the rain but he did not care.
“You’re really gone, aren’t you?” He whispered to the air. His throat thickened and he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly.
When he thought he was about to pass out a voice he knew extraordinarily well spoke from behind him and he started.
“Neville.”
He turned slowly, years of fear bred into him, and looked up at his Gaffer. “Yes sir?”
Sir Alex moved forward respectfully slowly. “This attitude is not healthy for you. You have to accept what happened, God knows you don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it. It takes a strong man to be able to do that Gary. I know you can do it because you are a strong man, a very strong man.”
Gary lowered his eyes as he felt unworthy of such a compliment. “It’s hard.”
“Yes it is and it’s going to be very hard. Takes a great man to be able to love someone as much as you did and it takes a greater man to be able to move on from that.”
“I don’t want to forget her!” Gary looked up quickly.
Sir Alex shook his head. “Not forget, move on. Accept what happened as fact and move forward. You never have to forget her, you just have to learn to live without her.”
Gary nodded numbly.
“Come along son. The wife has a great inclination to force feed you dinner if necessary.”
Gary looked sadly back at the coffin while he felt himself taking a step forward. He didn’t want to leave her and he told himself that he would be back tomorrow with flowers. He vowed to no one that he would bring flowers every day because she liked them and he wanted her happy.
“It will get easier with time.” Sir Alex said quietly, catching Gary’s look back.
Gary didn’t believe him and didn’t hide his expression of disbelief from the Gaffer. As he got back inside the car, he kept his eyes trained to the hill where on the other side of it she was going to rest forever.
As the car pulled away, he looked back at the crest of the hill and whispered inaudibly.
“I love you.”
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}