Okay, I'm on vacation XD

[tempered-rose.livejournal.com]

Title: The Eternal Heartache, Chapter 18 of ???
Characters (this part): Cesc Fabregas, Vicente Rodriguez, Pep Guardiola/Raul Gonzalez implied, Guti, David Villa/David Silva implied
Rating: strong PG-13 for language
Words: this part an EPIC, 5,001 words ; Total: 50,986 aka 100% =-D
A/N: I DID IT YOU GUYS!!!! =-D 50,000 WORDS DONE. =-D *glomps each and every single one of you* I have some special thank you’s to deliver that I think are very important. First of all, HUGE hugs and thanks to nicole811 because when I was bitching that I wanted to quit, she wouldn’t let me. She was there from DAY ONE. =-D Next, THANK YOU to notsostrange because she is TEH AWESOME and helped me a lot, probably more than she herself knows. =-D A HUGE HUGE thanks goes to melj1213 who was my ‘epic epic commenter’ and I love her very much. =-) Also, thanks to everybody who read this from the beginning to the end and has continued to support me by leaving comments and messages tell me you liked it. It meant a lot more than you can possibly know. THANK YOU GUYS SO FREAKING MUCH!





Last part here. All previous parts listed here.




Cesc swallows nervously as he walks down the sidewalk at a slightly hurried pace. It had taken a minute of persuading from Silva, but Cesc had agreed that it would be a good idea to go home and freshen up a little bit. Cesc didn’t know why the boy had pushed the idea so hard, they had all looked fine the way they were. His hands were in his pockets and he was trying to not notice how cold it really was.

“Is your uncle’s house far?” The boy next to him asks as another gust of wind hits them directly in the face.

Cesc shivers as a result. “Thankfully, no it’s not.”

“Well that’s good, at least it will be warm inside. You don’t think he will mind? Me coming along with you, I mean.”

“Of course not, he’s been encouraging me to have friend’s over. I just don’t ever take him up on it.” Cesc explains, as the familiar door gets closer with every step.

“Why not?”

Cesc lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “Here, this one is it.”

Cesc and his companion walk up the stairs and Cesc pulls his key from his pocket. He puts the metal into the lock and turns it until the lock gives and the door opens. The two boys rush inside before the next wave of cold air gets the chance to hit their bodies with another dose of chills.

Cesc takes a minute to let the warm air wash over him fully before he moves again. The heat is on and the soft glow of the lamps make the atmosphere feel cozy and welcoming.

“He has a nice place.” The other boy whistles as he takes in the appearance of the front rooms.

“Yeah, it is pretty comfortable and I like it, a lot.” Cesc replies as he starts to remove his scarf. He looks around for a minute. “Um, I guess you can make yourself comfortable for a few minutes. It really won’t take me all that long to get ready.”

“Cesc?” Pep’s voice floats into Cesc’s ears from upstairs. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, Pep, it’s me.” Cesc says as he drapes his coat over one of the many chairs.

“I wanted to ask you what you want for din—oh. Who is this?” Cesc notices with more familiarity as Pep’s voice changes from warm paternal to politely detached. He had gotten used to recognizing the change in tones a long time ago but he still noticed when the change occurred. Pep looks down on his nephew and his friend with a slightly teasing smile. So this is what his ‘friend’ looked like…

“Oh, um, this is my friend Vicente.” Cesc replies nervously as Vicente goes to shake Pep’s hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you sir.” Vicente smiles one of the smiles that made the girls swoon.

“You too Vicente.” Pep smiles at the boy’s friendliness and decides that this boy was a very good match for Cesc. He was friendly, that was a good thing to see in somebody that Cesc liked. He could bring Cesc out of his shell.

“I’m just going to get ready. We’re going out to dinner.” Cesc says and swallows, trying to hide his nerves. He starts up the stairs and he misses his uncle’s bright grin.

Vicente puts his hands in his pockets and tries to not stare at Cesc’s uncle. Pep, however, was eyeing up the boy like he was a new specimen that a scientist had never seen before.

“So, you and Cesc are going to dinner?” Pep asks, still smiling except without as much intensity as before.

“Yes sir. I wish we were going by ourselves but we have two of our friend’s going as well.” Vicente shrugs and goes back to looking around the house. His eye catches something in the corner and he speaks before he can stop himself. “Are everyone in this town Barcelona supporters?”

“In this house they are.” Pep says and smiles when he sees the framed shirt in the living room. His eyes reflect an inner sadness but he swallows to temporarily deflect it as he turns back to face the boy. “What team do you support? Surely, not Real…”

“No, I support Valencia.” Vicente shrugs and Pep nods.

“They are doing pretty well this year.”

Vicente agrees and they talk about football for a few moments until Cesc comes back down the stairs, dressed in almost exactly the same thing he had on when he went upstairs. He rubs at his face and then stops at the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m ready Chente.” Cesc says as he reaches the last step.

Vicente nods and goes to shake Pep’s hand again. “Nice to meet you sir.”

“Same here, Vicente.” Pep releases the boy’s hand and rubs Cesc’s hair. “You have enough money, Cesc?”

“Yes sir.” Cesc replies as he puts his coat back on.

“And you’re going to be home before midnight, right?”

“I’ll make sure he is back before he turns into a pumpkin sir.” Vicente grins at Cesc, who ducks his head in embarrassment.

“Have fun boys.” Pep says as they start for the door.

They both reply with a “we will” before they open the door and disappear outside. Pep sighs and listens to the quiet of the house. He was happy that his nephews were out with their friends. He was glad that they had settled in and had made friends. It was just the moments of extreme quiet like this one that unnerved him.

Pep runs his hand over his face and starts back upstairs. He had a trip to New York coming soon, his last trip for the year. He had wondered for quite some time if Bojan and Cesc would like to go with him, seeing as they would only have a few days of school left before the break by then. He had planned on asking them over dinner tonight, but they had all disappeared with their friends.

He made a quick decision in his mind that he would ask them tomorrow after the Classico. He grinned to himself as he sat down at his desk. They still didn’t know that they would not be watching the game on the television like millions of other people. One of my better ideas, he thought to himself as he brought his mug of coffee to his lips.

As he sets the Barcelona mug back down on the coaster, his eyes catch a framed photograph on the corner of his desk. The pang that suddenly runs through his bloodstream and hits his heart feels like a dead on collision. Why he still had that simple photograph still on his desk, he couldn’t say. This wasn’t the first time he had felt this sadness; it wasn’t even the first time that day.

Pep’s fingers stretched out and brought the frame closer. This was the first time in months he had touched the simple wooden frame. The picture inside was old, but only by a few years. Two smiling faces on two very happy men at the beach up in Vilassar de Mar. Pep studies the light sparkle that usually danced in Raul’s eyes in the photograph and wonders two things. One was if that sparkle was still there and whether or not it was shining for someone else. The second thing he wondered was if either one of them knew that only three years later they would be separated by Pep’s own stupid jealousy and Raul’s refusal to call him back.

The frame falls from his fingers and clatters facedown on the hardwood desk. Pep leans back in his chair as he looks to the ceiling. The crown molding that runs along the perimeter of the room is not what he sees.

“Oh Raul, I miss you.” Pep whispers to the air.

His only answer, as cold and finite and as resolute as granite, was silence.



“This is your car?”

Cesc and Chente were standing beside the school where Vicente had parked his car, a sleek and stylish luxury hotrod.

Vicente grins at Cesc’s expression of shocked wonder. “Yeah, my dad got it for me for my birthday. Do you like it?”

Cesc had never been one for cars but even he had to admit the shiny silver sports car was very nice. “It’s very nice Chente, very nice.”

“Quit staring at it. It’s freezing out here you know.” Villa shouts as he and Silva come closer. Cesc frowns when he sees Silva walking uncomfortably but he doesn’t comment on it. He had made a mental note earlier to speak to Silva before they actually walked into the restaurant; he added this to the list of things to talk about.

“Well if you two had hurried up, we would not have had the time to talk about it.” Vicente teases over the hood. “Cesc sits in front, you two pile in the back.”

“Why does he get the front?” Villa complains as Cesc opens the door to lift the seat forward so Silva could slide in. Villa gives Cesc a perfect glare, one that would have intimidated Cesc had he not grown up used to them.

“Who cares, it’s far below the average temperature for this time of year! Get in Villa!” Silva says as he shivers in the backseat.

Cesc just blinks at Villa who finally gives in with a muttered curse. Vicente rolls his eyes and makes a motion for Cesc to get in as he opens his own door. Vicente closes his door and puts the key in the ignition and cranks the engine. It comes to life the same way a great cat stretches and awakens after taking a nap, flawlessly.

“Does anybody want to go anywhere in specific?” Vicente asks as he adjusts the heating.

“Go to the place where we went that one time for your sister’s birthday.” Villa says from the backseat.

“Oh! That’s a great place!” Vicente says. “The food there is amazing.”

Cesc nods and leans back in the leather seat. I suppose that one of these days I will have to learn how to drive, what an unpleasant thought, he thinks to himself as Chente pulls off the curb and into the traffic lane. Driving never really interested him; he would prefer to walk if he could.

Vicente drives carefully but coolly, as if he had practiced for quite sometime. The car handles really well under his guidance and Cesc wonders if all drivers are this collected. Cesc looks out the window to see the city lights as they cruise by. It isn’t until Vicente speaks that he is pulled away from the beautiful scenery.

“So what is the deal between you and Silva, Villa?”

“What do you mean?” Villa asks, pulling his eyes away from Silva’s face to look into Vicente’s in the rearview mirror.

“You guys are hanging out a lot lately. Juan is getting jealous.” He jokes and Cesc wonders what Juan Mata has to do with Villa.

“Let him get jealous, we broke up a long time ago.” Cesc hears his own voice say ‘oh’ inside of his head while he notices that Villa’s tone is lazy and uninterested.

“You, my sly friend, did not answer my question.” Chente points out and smiles at Villa through the mirror. Once Villa meets his eyes, he looks back down onto the road.

“I don’t know. Why are you hanging out with Cesc so much?”

Cesc swallows and looks back out the window. He can feel his face heating up and it has nothing to do with the heating.

“We’re friends.” Chente’s answer is the truth, Cesc thinks to himself. He wishes that Chente wouldn’t feel too badly that he was someone else’s already. The look on his face when Cesc had told him that he was with Iker was burned into his memory.

“Well, Silva and I are friends.” Villa replies, his tone slightly agitated. It then shifts a degree down and becomes slightly dangerous, Cesc thinks. “Aren’t we Silva?”

“Y-yes.” Silva’s answer is a tiny squeak that Cesc inwardly smiles at. He was still amazed that Silva hadn’t spilled his guts about what exactly he and Villa were doing to him. Cesc had been completely shocked that he hadn’t even told Alexis or Leo about what they were up to. Their ‘innocent’ Silva, the same Silva that giggled and blushed at anything to do with sex, wasn’t cracking and telling; they were all shocked beyond comprehension.

Cesc smiles to himself as he starts recognizing buildings along the route to the place where they were having dinner. It is not until the third ‘landmark’ of familiarity that he starts noticing a trend. Dread starts to flood his body and no matter how much he wishes he could change it, with every turn that brought them closer, it only grew stronger.

By the time La Rambla’s glorious promenade alit with lights in the trees all down the avenue came into sight, Cesc felt very uncomfortable. As far as he knew, Raul and Pep had broken up completely. He had not seen Raul for months and he couldn’t help but wonder if the man even remembered or cared about him.

“Cesc, are you okay? You look kind of ill…” Vicente asks pulling him out from his thoughts.

“I’m, I’m fine. Just trying to remember if I have been here before is all.” Cesc forces a smile to his face and tells himself to relax and calm down. Raul would be in the kitchen and would have no reason to come out to see about his guests. Despite what he told himself, Cesc could not help but remember Raul doing exactly that when Pep had taken Bojan and him to the restaurant.

“Maybe he gets car sick.” Villa pipes up from the back seat. “Dios knows I would with you driving like a little old lady and all. Be careful, you might actually do the speed limit.”

Ruffling was heard from the backseat as Silva poked Villa’s arm. “Be nice to your friend, David.”

Cesc found it rather amazing that Vicente did not just slam on the breaks of the car in the middle of traffic. Both of their heads turned and looked at each other before turning their wide-eyed gaze on the two in the backseat.

“Did he just poke you?”

“Did you just call him David?”

“Have you two gotten brain aneurysms?” Villa asks, amused. “Vicente, your precious little silver car is about to run into that nice man who is stopping up there.” Vicente’s head whips around and he barely manages to break in time to avoid a collision.

“That would have put a rather large damper on the evening.” Silva says, voice barely above a squeak because he was still embarrassed over the scene in the first place.

“I think he is rubbing off on you Villa.” Chente says as he blinks and then proceeds to turn onto la Rambla.

“I know he is.” Villa grins at something that causes Silva to blush and look away. Vicente and Cesc look at each other with raised eyebrows but neither of them say a word.

Vicente somehow manages to get the car over to the corner of where Raul’s restaurant was without further incident. Cesc gulps as the brightly lit red and white lights of ‘Amor Eterno’ catch his eye. Vicente puts the car in park and starts to get out. Cesc’s hands feel clammy as they shakily open the door and he gets out. The valet comes to take the keys from Vicente as Silva and Villa get out from the backseat.

“Finally!” Villa complains as he smoothes non-existent wrinkles in his coat.

“We are sort of early so hopefully we can get a good table.” Vicente says as he leads the four of them inside. “Have you been here before Cesc?”

“I think so.” Cesc lies. “But it was a long time ago.”

Vicente is pushed ahead by Villa and Cesc takes the opportunity to pull Silva back. “I need to talk to you for a minute.”

“Well geesh Cesc, ask next time. You rumpled my coat!” Silva whines.

“What is going on with you and Villa? Honestly?” Cesc asks, temporarily forgetting the other thing he wanted to bring up to the boy.

“Cesc,” Silva whines again. “If you are referring to the whole ‘David’ incident a moment ago, that is his name. I believe that I can call him by his name!”

“That is not what I’m talking about.” Cesc says as Vicente speaks to the maitre d’. “Although, I guess that is part of it.”

“Then what are you asking, Cesc?” Silva blinks big brown eyes at him and Cesc feels his mind clear suddenly. He blinks to regain focus.

“Well you two are really, really close all of a sudden and you always are hanging around after school for him and then you end up walking out all frazzled and stuff.” And then Cesc gets it. “Oh my God! You have slept with him, haven’t you?!”

“Do you have to speak so loudly?” Silva squeaks before he analyzes what Cesc actually said. “And sleep is definitely not what we were doing. However, the actual details of those encounters are really, quite frankly, none of your business.”

Silva walks forward, red as a tomato, but he does not look back at Cesc’s shocked expression. The maitre d’ is waiting to seat them and Cesc pushes himself forward to follow his friends. Thinking on it now, he really could not be all that surprised. The pieces to the puzzle fit in perfect alignment but Villa and Silva, fucking each other?!

Cesc makes a face and shakes his head, hopeful that it will have cleared the mental images that had popped up. Vicente gives him a funny look as he sits down in one of the chairs around the square table that they were given.

“Don’t ask, you do not want to know. Trust me on this one.” Cesc tells him as he sits down next to him without really paying attention to what seat he picked.

“Okay.” Vicente smiles. “I trust you, I won’t ask.”

Silva and Villa take their seats as menus are issued. Cesc knows what he wants without even looking; that had been a perk of having the head chef as your uncle’s boyfriend: you got menu selections for leftovers. He still looks at the fancy designed menu anyway, feeling a moment of sadness as he does so.

Pep had tried really hard to deal with having them there on his own. He had even used some of the old cookbooks lying around. Cesc and Bojan had realized by their first burnt dinner, Pep was not a natural chef like Raul was.

“I think a steak looks good.” Villa was saying and Cesc swallows back the tears that had risen in his throat.

“The steaks here are so good!” Vicente comments and Cesc agrees. They truly were delicious.

“I think I will just get a salad.” Silva says and the three boy’s turn their heads to stare at him. “What? I want to eat healthy.” A waiter walks by with a tray. “Not all of us want to ingest huge slabs of meat that are all juicy and tasty and have lots of spices on them and smell absolutely divine…”

“Relax Silva. You can have some protein, it will be good for you.” Villa smirks at the littlest one of their group.

“Pro-protein. Yes, yes protein is a very vital nutrient for proper muscle growth.” Silva pulls his eyes off the large steak that a man across the room from them had ordered.

Chente looks at Cesc, incredulously. “Is he always like this?”

Cesc shrugs. “Eventually, you will get used to it.” Chente gives Cesc a look that tells him he doesn’t believe him, but Cesc shrugs again.

The waiter returns and flips out his pad. “Are you ready?”

They go around the table ordering and then the waiter returns to go put their order in. Cesc’s eyes follow him until he disappears behind the doors that lead to the kitchen. Villa was teasing Silva about his dinner choice of a steak and extra broccoli on the side when Cesc realizes where he is sitting. He was sitting in direct line with the kitchen doors; all someone in there had to do was look out the window inlaid into the door and they could see him.

Cesc swallows thickly and prays that this is one of the nights where Raul is not working.



Guti flips the shrimp he had in the pan and sets it back down as he pours more white wine into the pan. It sizzles to life as the alcohol begins to burn out. He looks over to the door when he hears it open.

“Hey master chef, did you have a good nap?” Guti asks amongst the other greetings that Raul receives.

“Not really, to be honest with you.” Raul runs a shaky hand through his hair. “How are things here?”

“Pretty quiet tonight, considering it is a Friday.” Guti shrugs.

“It is still early yet.” Raul says noticing the clock on the wall. “And the Classico is tomorrow, more people will definitely be coming in tonight.”

Guti looks at his friend carefully. He gives the pan one final stir before removing it from the heat and placing the cooked shrimp on a white plate. “Order up!”

One of the waiters comes to life and takes the plate from Guti’s grasp. Guti wipes his hands on the towel around his waist and motions with his head towards Raul’s office. Raul nods and starts in that direction too.

Once inside with the door shut, Guti speaks.

“What’s up Raul? You look like shit. Are you still not feeling well?”

Raul shakes his head. “No, I’m not.”

“Are we sure this is a stomach thing?” Guti asks putting his hand on Raul’s forehead.

“Jose…” Raul says grimacing and backing away.

“Sorry, sorry. Of course you would know.”

“No, it’s not that.” Raul shakes his head and sighs. “I don’t think it’s a stomach thing.”

Guti’s forehead creases in confusion before he thinks he gets where Raul is going. “Oh.” Raul looks down and his face reflects the exhaustion and tiredness and just sadness that he has felt for months. Guti feels himself flood with remorse. He walks forward and hugs Raul.

“What is this for?” Raul asks but doesn’t remove Guti’s arms from around his back.

Guti stays quiet for a minute before answering. “I’m doing this so when I tell you something in a second, I will remember what holding you felt like.”

“Guti, what are you talking about?” Raul sighs.

“He called.” Guti says, cringing.

“Who?”

“Pep. He called the day after you had your fight. You weren’t here so I lied to him. I said that I would tell you and then I didn’t.”

Raul turns, eyes flashing at Guti. “Please tell me you are not telling me what I think you’re telling me.”

Guti’s eyes are on the floor. “I wish I could do that.”

“Jose Maria Gutierrez, I swear to God, I am going to kill you for this.” Raul’s voice is dangerously low and he is so much more than pissed off. “I am only going to ask this once, why did you do it?”

Guti refuses to bring his eyes up from the floor. He can feel Raul’s anger radiating off the brunette in strong waves. “Like you don’t already know.”

“Why did you do it Guti?” Raul crosses his arms over his chest.

“I was jealous okay?” Guti’s eyes lift off the floor as he speaks. “You have no idea what it is like to go years, and I mean years Raul, watching the man who stole you away from me make you happy. Plus, it’s not like I was creating your problems with him in the first place. I just, might have encouraged a break up over helping with the ‘getting back together’ thing.”

Raul silently glares at him and Guti’s voice grows from hysterically defensive to serious. “You cannot ask me to be sorry for what I did Raul. Because I am not sorry now, and I won’t be sorry ever.”

Raul shakes his head. He was beyond furious. “You have no idea what you have done Guti. You have no idea.” He turns and starts for the door.

“Where are you going? The dinner rush will be starting soon!”

Raul opens the door and yells over his shoulder. “To fix what you have fucked up! Deal with it yourself!”



Cesc swallows the last bite of his shrimp pasta and savors the taste. Raul’s chefs had not lost their touch since the last time he had been here. Around the table, the others were finishing up as well.

“That was most delicious.” Silva says as he steals another one of the other David’s French fries.

Villa was leaning back in his chair, patting his stomach, as he eyes Silva carefully. “For such a little guy, he certainly eats a lot, doesn’t he?”

“Are you kidding me?” Cesc says, wiping his mouth. “You should see him at break. He is just eating non-stop practically.”

Villa shakes his head. “Silva is pretty amazing.”

Chente looks at them, confused once more. “You are guys are doing it again.”

Villa shrugs. “Silva’s pretty cool.” Silva smiles at the tablecloth, suddenly too shy to look up.

“I remember when we were younger, you used to make fun of him. And Alexis.” Vicente looks at Villa with narrowed eyes and a tilted head.

“I learned my lesson.” Villa says, seeing the waiter walking back over to drop off the black book containing the check. “Honestly Chente, what does it matter now anyway?”

“You’re hanging out with, no offense Silva, the nerds.”

“Chente, I really like you and all, but shut up.” Villa sends a leveling look in Vicente’s direction as he puts a credit card in the book and hands it off to the waiter.

Cesc looks between Villa and Vicente and then he focuses on Silva. Silva’s head was down and he was biting his lip and swallowing constantly. Cesc recognized the expression as the one where Silva was trying desperately not to cry. Cesc felt his protective instinct rise up as a result.

He stood up. “Come on Silva, let’s go.” Silva gets up without protest. “Thanks for dinner David. I’ll pay you back later.” Villa waved a hand in his direction while keeping a glare locked on Vicente.

“Come on Silva.” Cesc walks away from the table and he makes sure that Silva is in front of him as they start for the door. He hears Vicente calling them back but he ignores him. “It’s okay Silva, I’m here for you buddy.”

Silva nods as the tears start to slip out. Cesc keeps moving Silva forward through the growing crowd until they finally get outside. Cesc hears Silva’s sobs break free but he focuses on looking for one of the valet’s to call them a taxi. Once he had found one, he hearded Silva into the backseat of the car and gave the driver instructions to Pep’s house.

The driver nods and pulls into the traffic. As Amor Eterno faded behind them, Cesc pulled Silva into a hug and lets the boy cry on him. Cesc holds the shaking body close while he kept whispering words that meant hardly anything but somehow quietened the boy after a while.

By the time the familiar street was in sight, Silva’s cries had faded until silent tears moved down his face.

The car came to a creaky stop on the street outside of Pep’s townhouse. Cesc digs in his pocket for the money and was grateful that he had just enough to cover the expenses. Silva and Cesc pile out of the taxi and stand in the quiet, cold air for a few moments before Silva’s shaky voice breaks the quiet of the residential street.

“Thank you.” Silva sniffed.

“Don’t mention it. He should not talk like that to you. Or to anyone, really.” Cesc says and sighs. “I am very sorry that he said those things to you Silva.”

Silva sniffles again and laughs without humor. “I am used to it by now Cesc. At least this time, I had a valiant night in shining, denim, to defend me.”

Cesc feels awful for the night’s events. “Come on, I will walk you home.”

“You don’t have too.” Silva blinks bleary eyes at him.

“I want too. I can’t let a little guy like you walk home alone on a Friday night. I’m your shining night in denim, remember?” Cesc forces himself to laugh at the last part.

Silva squeaks out a watery laugh. “Okay, thanks.”

Cesc nods and they start down the street. They walk in silence apart from Silva’s sniffles and the sound of their footsteps on concrete.

“I’m glad the breeze has quit blowing.” Cesc says for observation.

“Me too. Is it always this quiet around here?” Silva asks, slightly disturbed by just how quiet it was.

“Unless Sergio starts playing his guitar up on the roof, yes it is.”

“I’m used to Alexis throwing one of his parties or having his stereo on really high.” Silva shrugs. Cesc sees the small boy and for once really notices just how young Silva is. His heart tugs again and he feels worse for what Vicente said.

“Silva, you are a truly amazing person.” Cesc says admirably.

“Why? Because I tolerate loud music? That hardly makes me amazing Cesc.” Silva tells him, confused at the compliment.

Cesc shakes his head. He opens his mouth to start explaining but then thinks better of it. “Never mind.”

Cesc smiles and puts an arm around Silva’s shoulders. It was nice to know that some things never changed.