My Own Mistakaes 2/4

[tempered-rose.livejournal.com]

Title: My Own Mistakes, Part 2 of 4
Fandom: True Blood
Characters: Eric Northman/Sookie Stackhouse, implied Bill Compton/Sookie & Eric/Nora, mentions of Pam
Rating: light R
Words: 1,560
Summary: Eric remembers everything, including what he doesn’t want to.
A/N: Spoilers through all of Season 4 and Season 5.
Previous Parts: One

The memory of the way she looked taking off that robe, standing naked in her room, was fresh in his mind. It was as if it had happened only moments ago, such was how clear the memory was. She had been exactly as he had imagined, and lord knew how often he had imagined her body free of all clothing.

He moved closer, predatory stare on her and spoke in a low growl. Each word he spoke was said firmly, assuredly, so that there would be no doubt of her understanding.

‘Sookie, you are mine.’ Just to show off, he had shown his fangs and kept the intense stare. Eric amusedly thought of the fight she had put up.

In a way, he was glad that he had lost his memory. Although embarrassing to have been that helpless and feeble, it had allowed him to get close to Sookie and that was what he had ultimately wanted since he had met her. Thanks Bill, he thought to himself and leaned back against the stone wall.

“Funny, isn’t it?” Bill drawled from beside him. “That we would end up here, together.”

Eric resisted a growl of annoyance and shifted, the silver chains cutting into his wrists further. Fuck the Authority, he thought and closed his eyes while trying to think of an escape plan. True, he and Bill did have business to discuss with them, but that didn’t mean he had appreciated being the direct insertion of silver into his veins and other methods of…questioning…that they had used. Even Bill had shown a little bit of a shaken personality since they had returned him to the dungeons. At least there were no ultraviolet lights down here, Eric thought and sighed.

He would much rather be at home, even though the person he wanted wasn’t there. She would never be there again. For some reason, that really hurt him. It hurt almost as much as when she had said that she hadn’t wanted him.

Eric could remember the sharp tear of a wound beginning to make itself known when she had asked Bill to forgive her, right in front of him. Then he had felt something worse than any hurt he had before, hope. She had come to him, telling him that she had fallen in love with him and wanted him, just before she ruined everything by trying to be sensible. He could appreciate her need to try and sort things out, but fuck! Did she have to end everything?

It really didn’t have to be over. They could have been together; it would have worked out well, had it just not been for Bill bloody Compton.

Eric looked over at the king of Louisiana. He didn’t look so high and mighty now, chained to a wall with silver around his wrists, neck, and ankles. Eric knew he wasn’t so glamorous either, like this. He tried not to move too much because the silver was already heavy and draining where it was; he didn’t want it to cut further into his body.

He tried to think of something pleasant so that he would be distracted while he waited for the Authority to return with new interrogations for them. He stretched back to think of his home, when he was very much a Viking warrior and he had been human. He thought of the snow that was everywhere in winter, and the cold spray of the sea on his face, regardless of what the season was. The water had always been cold.

Eric didn’t like thinking about the old human days of his life. It was uncomfortable, like sitting on a hard chair for too long. It wasn’t a pleasant experience any time he thought about them. He had long-since assumed that it was the fact that they had died and there was a small amount of sentimentality that clung to their memories that kept him in a state of discomfort any time he thought about them. Then he stopped caring and thought about something else.

No matter what he tried to think about—Pam’s and his sense of humor and their bond together, sex with Nora, blood and the thrill of feeding on humans—Eric kept coming back to the one thing he didn’t really want to think about. He couldn’t help it though; she was the one thing bringing him peace of mind in his current predicament.

He shifted a little awkwardly on the floor, hissing at the pain of the chains. He shouldn’t have had sex with Nora, but he wasn’t always the best with impulse control. Quickly reprimanding himself, Eric shrugged it off. Why shouldn’t he have had sex with her? It wasn’t like he had any commitments, any obligations with anyone, not any more at any rate.

That didn’t stop him from feeling a little bad about doing it. He just hadn’t seen Nora in so long, and well, he had wanted some contact with someone. He had wanted to forget about Sookie with anyone, and thankfully, Nora had just been there. She had been different all right, rough and with a different kind of eagerness than what Sookie had. But it hadn’t been…right. The sex had been fine, good enough for champions, just as he had told Bill, but it hadn’t been satisfying. Not the way it was with Sookie.

Eric let himself think of her smooth skin and that enticingly sweet smell of hers. She had been greedy with her hands on his skin, running over it all as if she had wanted to touch every part of him at once. She had given herself to him completely in her kiss, in her touch, and the way she had pulled him closer any time he slipped just the furthest bit away. He had wanted more of her, and he had gotten it.

‘Fuck Sookie’, he had told Bill. He would let the other man think that he was giving Sookie the space she wanted, which he was. He would let Bill think that he was moving on, think that he was safe, but that was a lie. Perhaps that’s what the Nora thing had been about, showing off for Bill Compton.

Chuckling to himself, he looked over at Bill. The other vampire was watching him with confusion on his face. As Eric watched, something changed in his face, something that he himself felt as well.

“Sookie!” Bill said aloud, and Eric could feel her too.

It wasn’t that she was close by. That would’ve been nice, foolish and dangerous and idiotic, but nice nevertheless. Eric let himself feel her senses and could feel the hurt, the sadness, and the loneliness she was experiencing.

“She’s hurting.” Bill said aloud, and Eric wanted to roll his eyes.

Instead, he spoke sharply. “I can feel her too, idiot.”

Bill glared at him, but he did not speak again.

Eric refocused on Sookie’s feelings. Then he heard it. Bill wouldn’t know what she had said, but he did.

“Eric, please…I want you. I want to tell you something. Please…please come.”

There wasn’t anything he could do. He was a prisoner of the Authority, at least for now. He couldn’t just leave, and that thought stirred in his abdomen. Sookie wanted him, at least for a few minutes so that they could talk. He heard the desperation in her voice, the need to talk to him was so sharp for her that it came across the many miles between Bon Temps and New Orleans.

Eric sensed her anticipation as it faded slowly, heartbreakingly, into disappointment and then despair. She thought that he wasn’t going to come. That was half-right, but it wasn’t for his own lack of wanting to. He cursed the Authority once again, but this time it was for keeping him away from Sookie.

Curiosity took him. He wanted to know what she wanted to talk about. Had she changed her mind? Was it another request, protection, perhaps? He found that amusing. He couldn’t protect himself at the moment, how could he protect her?

“You can’t just go…even if the Authority doesn’t somehow give us the True Death. You have to stay.” Bill told him quietly. “I need you to stay.”

Eric looked over at him and saw that the King was watching him seriously.

“I can’t do this on my own.”

Eric found it funny—in that horrible ironic not-funny-at-all kind of way—that he would have to stay and help Bill Compton before he could return to Sookie and find out what she wanted. Before he could return to Sookie, period.

“Why should I?”

“Don’t be a child!” Bill returned sharply. “If we don’t get out of this together, do you really think Sookie would love you ever again if she knew that you had left me here? Not to mention the Authority would never let you go, or me. Not without some sort of bargain and exchange.”

Eric relented. Bill was right, not just about the Authority but Sookie as well. He didn’t have a choice but to stay. At least for the time being.

He closed his eyes and thought about Sookie. He only hoped that come the morning’s light, she would forgive him for his absence.

And if she didn’t, well then he would apologize in person at the earliest moment he could.